Monday, April 6, 2009, 10:22 AM
(it's an inside joke. ;) )[ add comment ] | permalink |
( 0 / 0 )Monday, October 27, 2008, 03:40 PM
There he sat all broken hearted
Tried to poop, but only farted
Then one day he took a chance
Tried to fart and pooped his pants!
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( 0 / 0 )Friday, September 5, 2008, 11:18 AM
See? Told you I was sick![ add comment ] | permalink |
( 0 / 0 )Wednesday, February 27, 2008, 09:28 AM
A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old man and pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie, and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man and spit into the old man's milk, and then he took a seat at the counter. The third walked up to the old man and turned over the old man's plate, and then he took a seat at the counter. Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner. Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, "Humph, not much of a man, was he?"
The waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his truck over three motorcycles."
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( 2.6 / 8 )Tuesday, February 26, 2008, 04:05 PM
A Werewolf mooning over his girlfriend.... [ add comment ] | permalink |
( 2.7 / 6 )Monday, February 25, 2008, 09:30 AM
In GIGGLEbytes!!
*rimshot*
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( 3.5 / 8 )Sunday, February 24, 2008, 09:58 AM
Now THERE'S a short joke!
(RIMSHOT!)
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( 2.9 / 7 )Saturday, August 18, 2007, 02:18 PM
Bill went to his dresser one morning after his shower to get a pair of underpants. When he pulled them out, a cloud of dust came off them. "What the bleep?" he said. "Honey? Why did you put baby powder in my drawers?"
"That's not talcum powder," his wife called from the living room. "It's MIRACLE GROW!"
*rimshot*
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( 3 / 27 )Tuesday, May 22, 2007, 09:22 PM
BERLIN (Reuters) - A wheelchair-bound German stunned police when they pulled him over for using the road and found he was 10 times over the legal alcohol limit for drivers.
"He was right in the middle of the road," said a spokesman for police in the northeastern city of Schwerin Tuesday. "The officers couldn't quite believe it when they saw the results of the breath test. That's a life-threatening figure."
The 31-year-old told police he had been out drinking with a friend and was a little over a mile from home when a squad car stopped him as he passed through the village of Ventschow.
Police said that because the man was technically traveling as a pedestrian, he could not be charged with a driving offence.
"It's not like we can impound his wheelchair," the spokesman said. "But he is facing some sort of punishment. It's just not clear yet what exactly that will be."
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( 2.6 / 30 )Tuesday, May 15, 2007, 02:31 PM
My young son asked what the highest number I had ever counted to was. I didn't know, but I asked about his highest number. It was 5,372.
"Oh," I said. "Why did you stop there?"
"Church was over."
—Joanne Weil, as told by Mike and Amy Nappa, Bore No More! (Group Publishing), p. 7; submitted by Clark Pfaff, Granby, Connecticut
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( 2.8 / 29 )Tuesday, May 8, 2007, 02:13 AM
Would you say my doctor is out on a Lim?[ add comment ] | permalink |
( 2.8 / 37 )Monday, September 25, 2006, 07:30 AM
... how long would it take for his puns to get him dis-bard?[ add comment ] | permalink |
( 3.1 / 75 )Monday, September 25, 2006, 07:26 AM
"Is the bar tender here?"[ add comment ] | permalink |
( 3.1 / 74 )Monday, September 18, 2006, 01:12 PM
When JohnPaul II was elected pope everyone was saying special prayers that he wouldn't die early in office because they needed to find a Pole Vault [ add comment ] | permalink |
( 3.2 / 83 )Monday, September 18, 2006, 01:09 PM
Saint Peter asked three men that came to the Pearly gates what they wanted their friends and all to say at their funeral.
The first one a docctor said that he wanted them to say that he was the one that helped everyone in town to be healthy.
The second guy a schoolteacher said that he wanted them to say that he had made an impact on the future by his teaching of the young.
The third man, one of the local wits, told St Peter that there was only one thing that he wished to hear."Hey he's moving!!!"
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( 3.3 / 85 )Monday, September 18, 2006, 12:48 PM
What's the definition of a Will? (see above)[ add comment ] | permalink |
( 3.2 / 79 )Monday, September 18, 2006, 12:39 PM
No matter where you go or what you do, if you wear bad fitting shoes be prepared to suffer the agony of de feet![ add comment ] | permalink |
( 3.1 / 79 )Monday, September 18, 2006, 12:38 PM
Sign on a plumber's truck: "Pipe down, this job is a drain!"[ add comment ] | permalink |
( 3 / 72 )Monday, September 18, 2006, 12:36 PM
Sign on the back of a firewood truck: Call us for all your burning desires.[ add comment ] | permalink |
( 3.2 / 75 )Monday, September 18, 2006, 12:35 PM
If a petite woman who can speak communicate with ghosts escapes from the police... is she a small medium at large? [ add comment ] | permalink |
( 3.1 / 78 )Monday, September 18, 2006, 12:29 PM
You'll have to find the strength to "budge it".[ add comment ] | permalink |
( 3 / 76 )Monday, September 18, 2006, 12:27 PM
When a chicken crosses the road is it Poultry in Motion? [ add comment ] | permalink |
( 3.3 / 80 )Monday, September 18, 2006, 11:55 AM
Linds: Hey, Nate! What's up?
Khaine: A two letter word for above.
(rimshot)
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( 3 / 85 )Monday, September 18, 2006, 11:54 AM
Are people that jump from Paris bridges considered "in Seine?"[ add comment ] | permalink |
( 3 / 90 )Monday, September 18, 2006, 11:52 AM
"Hey, Buddy, you look kinda down. What's wrong?" Jason asked.
Buddy looked at him and sighed heavily. "I'm just having trouble with all this updawg in my life. I mean, It's just always there, and you can't fight any of it. Know what I mean?"
Jason thought about that for a moment. "I guess. But what's updawg?"
Buddy grinned. "Aw, nothin', man, jus' chillin'!"
(cue rimshot)
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( 3 / 100 )Sunday, September 17, 2006, 05:28 AM
Every time I watch Cash Cab, someone uses a mobile shout-out. Always he says, "Who ya gonna call?"
My answer?
"Ghostbusters!"
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( 3 / 86 )Thursday, September 14, 2006, 11:52 AM
Why not?[ 1 comment ] ( 31 views ) | permalink |
( 3 / 113 )Thursday, September 14, 2006, 10:56 AM
You put a little boogey in it. ;)[ add comment ] | permalink |
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